August 23, 2009

So it’s been a long time since I have posted.  Time has not given me a few minutes to write, and my brain has not given me time to write, and for all the many other reasons, I have not written.  I have thought about writing, I have written things in my head, but I have not actually put words down.  This is one of those bad habits of mine that happens from time to time.  I want to write, but there is so much some times in my head and then I tell myself that I’m not a writer, there are other more prolific and talented writers in the family, etc, etc.  Yet, I must remind myself that I can write, and I need to write, and this blog is not for others, it’s not for commercial uses, it’s for me.

Now, from time to time, I scribble into a notebook.  I have several around the house that contain my thoughts to grocery lists, to measurements for Lowes and drawings from Little Man.  Of course, as I stated, they are scattered, and all over the place.

Well, two things about writing have happened this summer.  Well, I guess 3.

1.  I started attending the evenings with Authors at Thurber House.  After listening to several authors talking about the writing process, I had my head full.  Do I have a story that is trying to get out?  Where do I write?  What is my process?  I started to blame the computer situation in the house.   My Dear Husband has been great about sharing one cpu.  But, at the end of the 10 hour day when I work on the cpu and phone all day long it’s hard to want to play on the cpu.  It’s not you computer, it’s me.

2.  As I mentioned, I have notebooks scattered around the house.  One of these, my smallest one, I had in the diaper bag for grocery lists, drawings, and etc.  Well, Dear Husband was using it to write down ideas for a float for the DooDah parade.  He left it over at a friend’s house overnight.  The next day, I was at our friend’s house and they mentioned our grocery list and how healthy we eat.  I was a little embarrassed, if they found that, what else did they read?  When I found the book, it was mainly full of lists and drawings, and little else.  They did find great humour into our grocery list, and I realized those lists can be very personal and telling.

3.  I was playing with google during a slow day at work, and stumbled upon my Mother’s blog.  At a time where I was feeling that I couldn’t connect with my Mom, there it was, her blog.  I felt like I was invading, but I figure, if she found mine, she would do the same, read a little, and not mention it.  I read the post about my Grandmother’s passing, and there was a photo of me, Little Man and Grandma.  I had been thinking of Grandma again, she passed when she was 99.  It feels like ages ago, but it was just about 6 months ago.

After Reading Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella, I have been thinking about my Grandma a lot.  She was a wild one in her day, and there is so much to say about her.

Just finding the words.   And time.  Little Man is curled up with me, begging for an arm to hold.  I am told that these times with him are going to go fast, Little boys don’t cuddle up after some time.  So, I will cuddle and end this post.